Will you marry me?

For the last few weeks I noticed that there were numbers of wedding invitation, especially in Facebook. Some responded by congratulating the bride-to-be while some welcomed them. There were also some friends who were moaning, “When will my turn be?”, “I’m so jealous of you” and some other ‘monologues’ in the comment section.

I have a friend who even cried thinking when will she get married. I totally didn’t understand what really was in her head. Some girls (I said girls, not woman) really excited to get married even though they were not fully prepared. It’s true that there aren’t girls only, in fact some boys are just mad to get married, but there’re just little of them since boys don’t like commitment as much as girls do.

From my point of view, getting married needs lots of preparation. The preparation can be divided into three which are physical, mental and financial.

Physical in this term means those who want to get married, have to be ‘fully fit’. Being sick or ‘helpless’ might shorten the marriage. Personally I don’t think physical is a big issue.

The second aspect, financial, is also important, especially for the gents. Financial preparation is not for the wedding ceremony only. It includes how they manage their cash flow. Couples must have pre-marital discussion on how to spend their money in their post-marital period. The husband should change their bachelor mindset as they have the responsibility to provide the needs of their family. So, spending on unimportant stuff should be avoided. Think of the family first. For me, money should not be big issue in marriage. To get married, “show me the money first!”

In Malaysia today, we can see lots of news regarding marriage, especially among Muslims. Divorced at very young age, ran away from the spouse, physical abuse etc had became some sort of a ‘trend’. The main reason that leads to this issue is lack of mental preparation. Some of them tend to think that life after marriage will be the same way as the life before marriage. The way their spouses behave, the way they portray themselves would still be the same, as they thought.

In fact, post-marriage life is totally different. Initially, during honeymoon period, everything is just nice and perfect, the warmth of the love is at the maximum point. However as the goes on, some couples tend to lose some of the love that they used to have. One of the main reasons is they can’t cope with their spouses’ not-so-good behaviour. The best way before getting married is being honest to each other, in other words, be yourself. You don’t have to be Shakespeare, Beckham or the rich Gates. Just don’t pretend to be the person you are not.

Some girls really want to get married simply because they love babies. Hello! Babies grow up! While they are growing, most of them will bring ‘hazardous’ to the parents. They will be naughty, stubborn and all what normal kids do, get the house messy! Lack of mental preparation among the parents will lead to trembling marriage. Prepare your mental! Mental can only be prepared with the teaching of the Religion!

I wrote this post not because I am against young marriage, as it has advantages as well which I am going to express my opinion in some time in the future. For me, marriage needs and takes a lot of preparation. Bear in mind, marriage is not for a week or a month or a year. Marriage is for a whole life. To be happy, be prepared..fully.

p/s- This is my respond to some friends who asked me when to get married. J